James and me after the birth of our 9th child, Sam.

In honor of Valentine’s Day

“Love is a decision…”

James and I first heard these words from a priest about five years after we were married.  It was a bit of a paradigm shift.  Even in the pre-marriage class we attended, we could not remember hearing that concept.  I mean, who needed to “decide” to love? You just did.  Or were. Or whatever.

In the early years of our married life, we still relied on good “old-fashioned love”.  We figured that is what would sustain us through inevitable hard times.   And good times, too.  Our passionate hearts would trump our rational brains and love would always be there; always reliable.  But by the time we heard those words, like most married couples, the honeymoon had passed, and the reality of three children (there would be more), a mortgage, and the everyday stresses of life had taken its place. At this point the decision to love seemed like an idea worth exploring. [Read more…]